TW: anxiety, eating disorders
There are some seemingly innocent phrases, found in every little corner of our everyday life, which in reality are quite the opposite, even managing to make us furious. Phrases that are on the loose, whereas they must be forbidden by law. What makes those common expressions completely unnecessary and boring, is the fact that they aren’t part of our intellectual property, you won’t find them inside our hearts. We’ve been taught to “fly blind,” so perfectly programmed for different occasions, that these phrases pop out of our mouths automatically. People around us are bombarded with our, mostly useless, words. What do we tend to say, then?
1.“When will you find someone? You’re yet to be married? Come on, hurry.”
The classic Greek trilogy. Who let these antiquities out of their closet? These phrases need to be locked up inside a cupboard. Attention! Even if you’re just asking, you’re emotionally abusing someone by intruding into their personal lives. Perhaps you’ve mentally pictured marriage to imply someone’s eternal and perpetual happiness, and the creation of a complete personality. This perspective expresses the range of stereotypes and prejudices that dominate your mind. The kindest thing for that person to do, would be to just turn around and leave.
2.“Everything happens for a reason…”
Right now, it doesn’t matter if this phrase is true or not. Maybe there’s indeed a reason behind everything, but maybe there isn’t. The thing is that, when someone is found within a difficult situation, you’re not helping them at all by saying “everything happens for a reason,” since no one ever explains what that reason is. You’re not helping them in the current unusual circumstances they’re in. You ought to say something that would help them here and now, something you would like to hear were you found in the same situation, something reassuring…
3.“Come on, don’t worry!”
Oh, what a lovely idea, I honestly hadn’t thought about that! Now I’ll worry no more. Seriously, who stopped worrying by hearing something like this? I don’t think this piece of “advice” has ever helped anyone. Well, at least, not anyone I know. It actually annoys you even more!
4.“Have you put on weight?” – “Have you lost weight?”
These two could definitely reign on top of the pyramid containing the most annoying expressions. Is there anyone who has never heard one of these at least once in their life? I promise you, there isn’t! You may think it’s insane for these two phrases to exist within so many others, but somehow, we all resent them or at least we’re annoyed, when we hear them. Generally, you hear them coming from envious or malevolent people, who only wanted to bring down your mood. Unfortunately, they succeeded, and they always do, as long as you let them. Every time, then, that someone utters anything of the kind, or something along the lines of “your thighs have become so floppy,” or “you’re all skin and bone,” consider that you shouldn’t really care about someone’s opinion, for which you didn’t ask in the first place.
5.“I told you so, didn’t I?”
The people uttering this are the ones that await your every wrongful move to shake their finger at you, saying “I knew it from the start!” to distinct their rightful judgement about the previous developments from your pointless choices. That means that they have psychic powers, they probably come from the oracle of Delphi. Something like that hasn’t been proven yet, but their insight, as they usually call this power, gets to our bones. Usually, the above phrases are followed by “I told you so, but do you ever listen to me? You don’t!” And so, we encounter the second instance, to remind ourselves that it’s essential to help the ones close to us and not to remind them of their mistakes when they’re still living through their consequences.
The above phrases are a really small but representative sample of cliches that we must avoid at all costs! Let’s dedicate a little more time to say something substantial, something brand new, something that contains grains of originality and essential compassion! As long as they’re not pressuring anyone. Let’s all support personal ingenuity! Think about it, so many ideas pop up and you’ll truly help people that need you!
Photography by Simeon Maniatis (@simos_maniatis)