Others’ opinions are simply others’ opinions!

Plentiful potential personalities coexist inside us. How have they been created? Who has implanted them? What problems do they cause? How can we gradually discover and reconcile them so as not to obstruct our daily routine?

Since the moment we were born we receive stimuli from our close environment. Obviously, our family is the most powerful stimulus, the contrasting views we may hear from our father or mother. Certainly, their opinions are not always compatible with each other. Our relatives, friends, teachers as well as the media are equally crucial factors. So, we learn to live with numerous different perspectives on the same topic.

Most people tend to espouse one or both of their parents’ opinions due to the feeling of inner safety and the belief that they’re doing the right thing for themselves. Maybe some people react to their parents’ views -committing this “heroic revolution”- and adopt their friends’ in an attempt to be a part of the so-called “herd”. Sometimes people may espouse the role models promoted by the media in order to fit in the specific constructed “mold”. In this way the media aim to integrate more and more people, to proselytize them.

It is common for young people not to express their opinion with ease.

They may bury it, because should they state it, they may not be accepted by the “herd”, considering that they will ensure their safety from the “wolves”. This attitude is usually attributed to the deficiency of sufficient self-confidence and self-trust. The deficiency of one powerful personality renders them static, functions as a natural behavior, a “small pillow”, and depends on others. Even if they do not have the amount of self-confidence they wished for, they can acquire it by risking hearing their own voices and daring to make mistakes along the way, entirely undertaking the responsibility of themselves without “stepping” on others’ opinions -whether they are right or wrong. This is the part of their improvement during the discovery of the path to their unprompted self-expression.

Many times humans ignore their true desires, when they find themselves split between various options. At first they worry about what other people may say, what the “herd” may say. Most of them consciously or unconsciously bury their real desires and embrace others’ desires. This is the point where confusion arises because people express contradictory views. They exchange their desires with the feeling of safety provided by others’ opinions. By listening to other people during their entire life span, they have forgotten or they have never been trained to hear their own opinion.

If you want to realize what you truly desire, you should distinguish every voice that intervenes without obstacles inside your head and record what it says. In the end, wonder what you really crave, what decision you want to make. The image or the answer that will arise in a second is usually your own truth, your own desire. So, think about what remains when you have clarified all the external voices. Focus on your own inner voice to materialize your expectations, in absentia of pluralism. Ask yourself a final question: What would I do if others’ opinions didn’t matter? I hope this question will give you some food for thought to take action.

Photography by Simeon Maniatis (@simos_maniatis)

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