I am starting to notice, as I get older, that us humans tend to push away, or rather try to completely erase, emotions that are not so positive. Anger, pain, sorrow, fear, despair, chaos. We embrace and seek only the feelings that bring us euphoria and security, both physically as well as in our soul. And indeed, it goes without saying that all this mass of happy and warm emotions that exist during the summer, when you meet with friends, on family nights, when you have sex with your person, in your successes, in parties with music that makes you shiver, is the purpose of life for all of us. Why is it that we fight so hard to make all the dark moments go away? Why do we try to pretend that they don’t exist? Why not embrace them as well?
Looking back on my memories, I plead guilty as well. There were countless times when I either pretended, or dismissed in various – and not always healthy – ways the feelings that made me feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable not in the sense of shame or exposure, but how they were “putting me into the corner” proving to me that the coping mechanisms I had thought of could not stand up to these feelings. Talking to some of my people, I realized that many around me have the same tendencies: to avoid experiencing “uncomfortable” feelings. But this is exactly where I want to pause for a moment. In the experience of these feelings. This word has been stuck in my mind for a while now. A friend of mine used it to convince me to listen to a song whose music made you feel peculiar. This is also part of the process, experiencing negative feelings, it is part of life, he told me. And then something “clicked” in me.
Why should I deprive myself of this experience? This lesson? The feelings that we try so hard to ignore are also key. The key that will open doors, maybe dark ones, but yours nonetheless. And as they open, you will see livelihood and humanity. If you manage to lose yourself in this experience, a new path will be paved by how you see things and the world around you. You will know more, you will have seen, learned and felt more.
Everyone reading this article will reasonably wonder: embrace fear and pain? The answer is yes, hold it close. Let it show you where it can take you and what it has to say. Don’t stop, even if it means getting a little lost along the way.
My advice, therefore, which is addressed both to you and to me, let us become the ballast of these “ugly” emotions, when they come to us. Let’s allow them to take complete control of our existence and enjoy what they have to offer us. Because, without them, we might be half and cowardly. And cowardice is no match for a journey.
It has to get bad before it gets good, right?
