Welcome to my TEDx Talk Ep.0: And suddenly, I saw myself through your eyes

My name is Katerina and, in my journey as a human so far, I have understood a few things. So here I am in front of my computer screen typing these words to make my own attempt to talk to you about two of them: moments and people. Or rather, better, to talk to you about two united in one; a moment and a person. To do this, I want you to make a mental note of two things: 1) there are times when, even though they lasted a little while, you wish they had lasted longer, and 2) not all people we know have the same impact on our lives.

To begin with, as to the first element, I have realized – and you will too if you pay the necessary attention – that everything around us, at its core, is moments. The hug of a loved one, the stop to tie your shoelaces, the turning of the page of a book. What do we define as a moment you will tell me. A moment is a short period of time. This does not mean, of course, that we come across imaginary lines in time that precisely define the meaning of a moment. Some moments really last for a bit, while others seem to last a long time. If you join many moments in a row, you make an event. And if you combine many events, you make life.

The other thing I’ve found, as I mentioned in the second point, is that the people who pass by our lives affect – or don’t affect – each of us differently. Every day we meet, get to know, introduce ourselves, socialize with different people. Some we maintain relationships with, others we never see again, some touch us inside, others pass us by indifferently, while there are those who manage to do something more.

How do these two elements come together? The answer – although complex to convey in a few words – can be summed up in one phrase that leads us to our TedxTalk today: they come together in the “moment of connection”.

Those who have experienced this connection may have relived that feeling upon reading the phrase. To those who are unfamiliar with it, perhaps they wish they understood what I am referring to. But what exactly is this connection? If you ask different people, you will get different answers. I asked them anyway.

For Th., the moment of connection means one thing: “you really connect with the person in front of you, when your energies are identical both in quality and quantity. When you know you’re going to give x amount of energy and you’re going to get the same, if not more, back.”

For M. it means something different: “it’s that moment when you look at someone and realize that this was it. Something—so hard to feel and even harder to explain—happened momentarily between you and bonded you together. And you can’t imagine any reason why this person will not be in your life in the future. And there you are. Ready to devote every second of your time to him, because you simply know that it will not be wasted.”

For D., this moment is something else: “I remember at one point talking with my friend N. and, after a pause, we turned to each other and said the exact same thing, with the same words and the same tone. It wasn’t a big deal – maybe even the opposite, maybe we just said something like ‘yeah, but I’m thinking…’ To someone watching the scene it wouldn’t mean anything, but we knew. It was as if we had tapped into the same “frequency”. It’s almost scary, but at the same time beautiful, that you can ‘synchronize’ – romantically, amicably, however you want – with someone so well.”

For R., things are different: “the moment I consider you have the ultimate connection with someone is when the person you are hugging, opposite or next to you, feels like your “home”. And when you have to get away from them, you feel like you’re being ripped from where you belong.”

I told you that you would hear different perspectives, didn’t I? Now listen to mine too: for me, then, the moment of connection can be summed up in just one sound; the ‘click’. The ‘click’ the key makes when the lock opens, the ‘click’ the magnets make when they come together. The sound that signals that something fits perfectly with something else, that they snap together in a unique combination. And it is this “click” that snaps in your head as well, that spreads like an echo throughout your body, when you look at the person across you and see something. You look into the eyes and you don’t just see your reflection in them, but yourself. And you feel that time stops, as if all other moments freeze to make room for this one to unfold. You feel an electric shock going through you, a cold sweat washes over you, your thought goes numb. Maybe neither of you had seen it coming or hadn’t any idea that this could happen, but in that moment, something unites you. You connect in a way that has never been and never will be. One moment that person was someone and the next moment it was you. At that moment of connection, this person is you and you are them. And through their eyes, you see yours.

The connection, then, is all the above together and, at the same time, separately. It is something so abstract to those who are unfamiliar with it and so concrete to those who have experienced it. One thing is certain: those who have been lucky enough to feel the absolute “synchronization” with another person have experienced something so “theirs”, that no one can deprive them of it.

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