Who do you love the most? Mom or Dad?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Which is your favorite animal?
All of the above are different questions that our elders asked us when we were little children. These questions are connected in one thing only: we needed to choose before we could answer. We realize, in such a simple way, that choice has been, ever since our childhood, an integral part of our life.
In our hectic daily routine, we are often forced to make decisions within seconds. From the simplest matters, such as what to eat in a restaurant, to the most complex ones, as in which school we wish to study in, choice is a major part of our lifestyle and the source of our decisions. At the same time, it offers the individuals a feeling of freedom and independence that they can “take control” of their own life. By extension, choice is intertwined with the nature of humans and is considered their right.
This right, however, does not always exist. In a variety of matters, certain social groups are deprived of choice. One such case is represented by the campaign for the right to abortion, entitled “my body, my choice”, which will give women the opportunity to choose for themselves whether or not they wish to carry a baby, without being limited by the legislative framework of each country or state. A similar case is the lgbtq+ movement, which reminds the society that each individual has the right to express their identity and to love whoever they want. The need to gain these rights, which are based on choice, is escalating day by day.
As Neal Peart said, “even if you choose not to decide, you have still made a choice”. Having choices is a human need. Usually, when we are deprived of this opportunity, we get annoyed and react negatively. However, there are more than a few times when, while we have a choice, we still choose not to decide. An obvious example is the abstention from the electoral procedures, a case that is also connected to another phenomenon that has been observed worldwide in recent years: society is now structured in such a way that we have as many choices as possible – from the products in the supermarket, to where to hang out and grab a coffee – in order to make the best decision. And while at first glance, the more the options are, the greater the freedom stands, the numerous varied options add enough pressure, stress, and competition to an already stressful lifestyle. The consequence of all this is to create a situation that can very easily make people unhappy, who will end up only caring about finding the “best”.
This unhappiness and pressure are due to three causes: a) the frustration created in people by different or high expectations, b) the fact that opportunity costs and involves risk, and c) the human tendency to blame ourselves if we choose the “wrong” one (self-blame).
The social environment could also be considered as a fourth cause. when we are called to make a decision, pressure is also observed from our environment or from people close to us. The basis of this is the fact that there are many occasions in which we ask for confirmation from others, to make sure that we have made the right choice, or we are influenced by their words.
Nevertheless, it is important to remember that life is a complex crossroads of critical and non-critical choices and decisions. Life is the sum of our choices. The hardest question a person can ask you is what choice of yours defined you. And while, in the end, we will manage to answer it, like X who told us “doing a master’s degree. I met people. I saw things. I have matured” and P. who told us “the fact that I decided to stay true to myself and not follow any path presented to me as an opportunity, if I don’t feel like it is for me. Allowing myself to accept that going after what I want isn’t just for others. I’ve had a really hard time getting to this point and I’ve often been thinking about not wanting to go on”, it’s more likely that there isn’t just one single choice that has defined us entirely.
One of the most famous aphorisms, that of Jean-Paul Sartre, says that man is his choices and this is indeed true. All our decisions have played their own important role in the composition of our personality, even today. Even those seemingly wrong or reckless decisions lead us to further self-exploration.
Throughout our existence in this world, we choose, and we are being chosen in every aspect of our lives – whether professional, romantic or social. There is no wrong and right choice, better or worse. The way we value things always depends on what we compare them to. It is important not to regret the choices we make, to have more confidence and certainty in decision-making and not to overanalyze. Our decisions should be based on how we feel at that moment and what we consider best for ourselves. Even our attitude towards life and how we approach it is purely our choice.
Because at the end of the day, I am what I choose to be.
