Trigger Warning: incidents of rape
I never thought I’d be able to address issues that require special attention, such as those relating to abuse, physical and emotional violence, and many others. I always considered my words to be just waffle compared to the incident itself, as well as the victim’s own confession. However, motivated by Sofia Bekatorou, two-times Olympian in sailing, who finally found the courage to publicly address and denounce her rape, that happened almost twenty years ago, but also by the hail of reactions and new confessions that were caused by this incident, I deeply felt the need to compose this text.
And that’s because, in principle, silence makes us instantly responsible and an accomplice to this crime, and consequently conceals and veils the incident, allowing time to erase it eventually. Nevertheless, I understood through Sofia’s own confession that our voice is powerful. The publication and reproduction of every confession of the kind is powerful enough and deserves to be heard, to encourage anyone else that has gone through something alike to denounce it themselves.
It’s not easy. It wasn’t easy for Sofia either, even in the position she’s in now. Especially during childhood and adolescence… It’s not easy for anyone. And there’s a reason behind that, since society and its institutions fail to protect and convince themselves of such shameful deeds. Erin L. Kelley, a professor at Richard College in Dallas, Texas, mentions in her talk for TEDxMountainViewCollege, that rape is a crime for which justice requires physical evidence, scars and injuries, that could be produced from struggle or intense conflict. Well, that seems fair, except that abuse and harassment don’t always leave these marks.
They do leave other marks, though. They leave deeper, inner, mental trauma. Not only the body, but the soul is raped. And mental trauma doesn’t heal in the same way. It’s there, in every memory, in every attempt to normally resume your life, in every confession of a similar incident. For me, the abuse of the soul is a more serious crime.
No need for evidence, then. If only mental trauma was visible in some way… If only we could measure and prove the pain our soul felt in that event. Isn’t that enough? How can someone criticize Sofia Bekatorou, carrying inside this enormous weight for so many years, for when she finally found the strength to confess the obscene incident she experienced? Why is the victim responsible after all? And in which society should a rape victim turn to, to report something hard to prove by nature?
There are many questions, and even more obstacles. Nonetheless, what’s done is done and speaking about it is the first step towards redemption. Sofia Bekatorou was the spark for many people to find the strength and finally feel even the tiniest bit of safety to speak publicly. Sofia offered them the safety that our state yet has to arrange how to offer.
And when you think it’s only one incident, all these voices come to confirm many other cases and how many people, above suspicion, irreparably hurt so many souls. Other athletes, but also university students, experienced incidents of sexual harassment. The commentary and testimonies brought to light are indeed disturbing.
So, today I wrote this for Sofia Bekatorou, and every other victim that will find, if they’re brave enough, the strength to express everything they’ve been through. I wrote this today for all the powerful victims out there. As Gorgias, the ancient Greek sophist, has said, “speech is a powerful lord,” and it is powerful enough to change the course of history, to disarm and send those scumbags wherever they deserve to go.
Ending, I’ll use Aly Raisman’s phrase, a two-time Olympian in gymnastics, who got raped, along other 265 women in over twenty years, by Larry Nassar, the USA Gymnastics national team doctor:
“Let this sentence strike fear in anyone who thinks it is OK to hurt another person; Abusers, your time is up. The survivors are here, standing tall, and we are not going anywhere!”
