The conductor in a sing swoop starts the music of the orchestra. All together the musicians translate all those scribbles into music and a dreamy melody fills the room, reaching the furthest into it. Just like that, it touches your deepest inner part of your psyche and social existence. Until now, you are too a part of the orchestra, one in many. The moment comes however when your solo is complete and you remain silent, listening to the melody skillfully played by others. Your part in the orchestra is only temporal. Gradually the dreamy effect of music begins to wear away and your previous musical fulfillment of your inner world remains void with the echo of a sonata of loneliness.
On the music sheets of our life-melody, each person sometimes plays along, participating in the orchestra-society, while in other times they can only listen silently, facing the white and empty pages of loneliness. This blank on the music sheet may scare most of us. Loneliness is in many ways a societal and existential wound. A wound that upsets us, pains us and saddens us. We endlessly hope to hum to ourselves other people’s melodies, to cover up our own inner silence. The melodies of others though seem foreign, emphasizing this feeling of loneliness. Maybe this is where we are actually wrong. We look for meaning in external factors and sources. However, the true meaning is not out there, it is inside of us.
While inside of us meaning remains silent and we never dare to really search for it. We do not have conductors to lead us, only our silence. Why are we so frightened of it? Why are we afraid of ourselves? If we would just listen we would realize how much the self has to say and then we won’t be lonely any more. We would let go of our insecurity for constant social contact and begin to appreciate the company of ourselves. Here lies the difference between being alone and being lonely. The former can be a personal aim, a bold choice and even a rightful privilege. It can be a source of a pure, introverted power which constantly encourages us to continue the journey of life.
Consequently, solitude is clearly internal. It is the recognition and fulfillment of our innermost need for inner examination and exploration of the all hidden aspects of ourselves. Step by step this silent inner dialogue, isolated by outer interventions, may guide us to the understanding of our true selves. If I understand myself, I would be able to forgive myself for possible mistakes and possibly embrace me and love me again. As if I am meeting an old friend once again, If you do the same, if each and one of us does the same maybe we may be able to forgive, embrace and love a little more the rest of the world as well. A harmony of balance with ourselves will transform to a harmony of a balanced societal co-existance. This is the true meaning of solitude. Or maybe this is the meaning I personally have given it.
Each one of us will view solitude differently. So next time you get a little time with yourself, don’t be frightened. Don’t feel lonely. You have you. Turn you loneliness into solitude and write on those blank music sheets the notes of your own melody.
Translation: Niki Saridaki
