Imagine this: you on a bench in a park, next to the sea or in a square. Life around you. People talking, playing, running, enjoying the sun, moving quickly to go to work. Now, press pause on the image and process what you see. A boy whose balloon got out of his hand. A girl’s conversation with her neighbor. A couple gives their first kiss. A child dances at the school play.
There is at least one moment when each of us has wished we could predict the future. To know what outcome every move will have, so we can shape our behavior accordingly or take appropriate measures to deal with the outcome. That there were little boxes in everything, so that we could have them checked, to bring our life and developments within the permissible framework for us.
But what about all the things that happened which we couldn’t control? Or – rather better – about those things that didn’t happen? Is there even a moment when we haven’t wished we could change them?
So what would you do if you realized that many of the things you didn’t experience were due to the fact that you didn’t pay attention to their excuse? To the moment that, although you didn’t know it, was going to determine which boxes would be checked so that they were all done?
When you hear the word excuse, you probably think of something huge, something shocking, something that will shake up the status quo of life as you know it. A music producer to approach you and offer you a successful career in the music industry. The person who is what many call – unfairly if you ask me as we were, are, and will never be halves – your other half meets you by chance and you fall in love at first sight. You excel at the Panhellenic exams and get into the school of your dreams. Hearing the word excuse, something like this will probably have crossed your mind. Don’t get me wrong, obviously all of this is wonderful—perhaps, among other things, seemingly unbelievable—to happen to you. But the big excuses are not the only ones.
If you ask, you will hear hundreds of stories that started from something smaller. What happens to you and after a while you have overcome it, it may be the reason for something more. If you ask, among beautiful and perfectly crafted stories, you will also hear about these little things. These little ones that may or may not have happened to you; these little things that you never counted on. I asked anyway.
R. confessed “on a friendship level, I think I was very lucky in a moment that I still remember from primary school. A whiteboard marker stain on my favorite blouse prompted me to talk to my now best friend, she gave me advice on how to clean it up, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. The discussion about the marker stain led to infinite new ones, to joys, loves, dreams, secrets. The rest is history.”
P. told us “I was 24 years old when I applied for admission to a master’s program and, while I was accepted in my city, I chose to move to another, as there I could work on the field that I wanted. The results came out on Thursday, a “stranger” helped me think on Friday, I packed my bags on Saturday, on Sunday morning I was already traveling! This ‘stranger’ – but, in the end, a remarkable friend – helped me speed up, not waste time and get into action.”
T. said that “the portrait of Dorian Gray was the occasion of my most beautiful passions. On the scheduled walk to the port, he sits on a bench with this book in his hands and headphones in his ears. It looks magical and familiar. And, leaving behind all shame, with faith in bibliophilia, you approach him. And you talk about hours, about books, about heroes, about life, its middle and its end. And the time of parting comes, but something keeps you there, standing still, in an almost empty port, midnight, in the city where love is hidden everywhere. And you decide that this parting is not a goodbye. And this is how a love story or a movie begins – you choose. Ode, then, to the power that books have and unite people.”
A marker stain, a “stranger”, a favorite book. Little excuses that led to something bigger. Go back to the image again now. A balloon teaches the boy that sometimes, even if you love something very much, you may lose it. A casual conversation with the person next to her makes the girl gain the confidence to start conversations without stress. A kiss starts the common path of two people. A school performance makes a child realize his inclination towards dance.
Big or small, everything starts somewhere and every story has a beginning. And this principle need not be perfectly formed, nor “fancy”, nor huge. Sometimes, what really counts for this principle are the details. The reason -for perhaps most of what we live for- lies in these details. In what you don’t notice at first glance. In the things you didn’t imagine that would lead you somewhere.
So, take a pause and zoom out a bit. And as you look at the bigger picture, notice those thousand little things that you hadn’t noticed before because you were fixated on chasing the big ones, the ones you thought you had to catch, the excuses you thought were the only ones you had to take advantage of. Those thousand little things that are hidden under the veil of insignificance, as if they are testing you to see if you would finally pay attention to them. They are hidden as if they wished to be understood only by the most daring.
So be bold and pay attention to the details; go for those little ones that others won’t look at. And make sure your future self doesn’t wonder for a moment how many opportunities you let go of.
The initials of the names were used for the purposes of the article and are fictional. There is no correlation with reality. The forms, in which the answers are provided by the audience, are and will remain anonymous.
